I have grown up in church basically all my life. From the Vacation Bible Schools to the Summer Camps, I have done them all. I grew up in a Pentecostal Charismatic (before things get out of hand, they did NOT handle snakes) church. I accepted Christ at the age of seven. As I grew older, I became disgruntled and angry with God, and the "people of God." If you asked someone to pray for you, you would know that they would tell at least five people around them, but in return it would come out as gossip. As I became more involved within the church, Christianity started to become works based.
Romans 12:2 (NIV) states, "Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will." In 2012, I had to leave this particular church. I was at a crossroads of leaving following God completely. By this time in my life, I was addicted to the things of this world. The things this world has to offer only lasts for a short period of time, only leaving you more empty than ever before. I was serving two masters. Matthew 6:24 (ESV) states, "“No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and money." I had no accountability at all. I had stopped pursuing God, BUT GOD was still pursuing me.
After leaving the church, I have heard many people talk about this little place called Passion City Church in Atlanta. I heard many fantastic things about Passion City. I thought I would "check" it out. I had no idea what to expect. The Church to me, at this point, was a place where people came to worship God, and then gossip about other believers. That was not the case. The first time at PCC, I became renewed. I saw the Gospel as Jesus came to bring us to LIFE, and that sin does not make us bad, but makes us DEAD. Instantly, I "fell in love" with what God was doing. He still pursued me, even when I was not pursuing him.
I became involved within the student ministry at PCC. I have always been the awkward one. People would not want to be around me because of the way I came off. It has been constant throughout my life. I tried exhaustively to "try to fit in" at church. Before, it felt as if nobody really cared about me and am alone. I truly had no close friends, but that all changed. Now, I have found some friends that accept me as I am. However, there is still something missing,
At Passion City, the big word that comes around is community. Although I now have some friends, I have no community. Let me explain what I mean by that. I have nobody pouring into me spiritually. I am in a spiritual desert. I have no godly men in my life that will spend a couple hours a week or a Saturday investing in me. I have nobody to dive into the Scriptures with. Proverbs 27:17 (NLT) states, "As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend." There is nobody sharpening me to follow God and gain intimate knowledge of Him.
God is sovereign. He has total power and control over everything. I just have to trust Him with finding community. I believe that He is trying to teach me something without having the community feeling. He works all things out for our good, and I cannot wait to see what he has in store for me in the aspect of community. I have found Him in the mystery, and am constantly seeking and finding Him more throughout the mystery of life.
*I am trying to be as vulnerable as I can. If you become offended, or have any questions, please feel free to either text or call me. Views expressed by this blog are of those of the writer, this in no way, shape, or form is condoning any organization talked about in this post
No comments:
Post a Comment